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He notices she seems like she's becoming attracted to him, and he blows things soon after.Hanging out, going on a date, the idea is the same.They'll come away from the interaction feeling excited and optimistic about where things may lead.However now they have a reason to feel pressured and jittery around her, and that's exactly what happens.He sees this, gets nervous, and never conjures up the guts to speak to her. He can't work up the nerve to talk to her another time.Another variation is when a guy runs into a girl, say because he sits beside her in a lecture, chats to her for a bit, and comes off well. A third scenario might be something more drawn-out, like a guy has a few conversations with a girl he never really thought of as more than someone friendly to talk to.Unsurprisingly, they're really nervous and hesitant about this as well. They may have a blatant, all-systems-go opportunity where the girl is clearly interested, but they can't manage to go through with it.

But when a guy is really shy his nervousness is at a level where it usually prevents him from doing any of those things.I also wrote a follow up to this article on some of the unique issues shy women struggle with.I'll break this down further below, but their central problem is that they're just really anxious, scared, and inhibited around women.Dating advice is outside the scope of this site, with this article being a semi-exception.Over the years several women have written me to tell me reading this site has helped them understand the actions of a shy guy they were pursuing.

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  1. Depending on your personal situation, you might say something like: "I'm sorry, I already have a boyfriend" "I'm sorry, there is someone else I'm interested in" "I'm sorry, I don't want to go out with you, but let's stay friends" "I'm sorry, I don't want to go out with you.