Mother son chat room
When your mother-in-law is still pulling the strings on her son, things can get pretty dicey especially when there is conflict between you and your husband.You see, the mother who hangs onto her son past the time she is supposed to is expressing a certain kind of ‘narcissism.’ The narcissistic mother is trying to cure her problems within herself by hanging onto and expecting emotional things from her adult son.I would recommend to such a man that he not get married until he is ready to ‘divorce’ his mother. The plan is, stay bonded to mom until such time that you are convinced that it is time to separate, meaning go off and commit to another woman.This other woman, your wife, in effect becomes #1 in your new life. And by the way, your marriage has a better chance of surviving if this more complete commitment has occurred.What will often happen is the narcissistic mother and her husband get to ‘avoid’ dealing with their marital problems by getting over-involved in other activities and people. For her husband it might be over-work, another woman, or simply emotional withdrawal.When the triangle consists of son-wife-mother, the narcissistic mother’s control in her son’s marriage is bound to create marital problems for him and his wife.
The message to you, his wife (or lover, if you want to drop the married part) is, you can marry my son but I stay number one in his emotional life. The problem is, your husband has not yet left his mother. If you don’t leave your mother you don’t have the emotional space to be truly married.
Can you tell there is an underlying emotional maybe physical competition going on in this message? When you are truly married you are committed 100% to another woman, your wife/lover.
You’ve left one woman (mom) to fully commit to another (wife/lover).
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