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It can be even more difficult to find the motivation to counter our own emotional instincts and our proclivity to reject, ignore, or judge.And all of this may be further complicated by the fact that we are tired, frustrated, fearful, or holding onto resentments.We need to fix ourselves (the pw BPD isn't going to fix us) and we need to disengage a bit from the push/pull validation habits common to pw BPD.Validation certainly isn't easy at first, but with practice it can become second nature.This leads to varying parts of my packet information being "chopped off". A solution to this, as stated in the Xilinxs documentation seems to be to cache align the... I don't know if it is my attempt that doesn't work, or if it simply doesn't fix the problem. Often, if we are experiencing a communication breakdown, or if there is a wall between us and someone else, it most likely has been built with the bricks of invalidation. Mastering it will greatly elevate your emotional intelligence and your of validation to feel good about themselves.Very few people come to this naturally - it is a learned skill.Let's first look at the importance of being true and authentic to ourselves.
We are often more aware of not being listened to (heard) than of our own shortfalls of not listening to others.If we can't be true and authentic, we are sacrificing ourselves for the benefit of another, and we are most likely enabling another person's dysfunction. For these reasons, validation is never about lying, it is not about being ruled by the emotions of others, and it is not letting people "walk all over us". Validating someone's thoughts, feelings, or beliefs does not necessarily mean we agree, overall, with what they are thinking, or feeling, or with their behavior. An ideal target is one that is close to the other person's emotional epicenter.So, the first thing to learn in validating others is to be able to identify something to validate in a "sea" of conflict that is both valid and important to the other person. It could be as simple as validating how the other person feels.Invalidated feelings have a way of coming back to haunt the relationship over and over.This is not an issue unique to Borderline Personality Disorder - this happens in all types of relationship - and we often do it, too.